Goings on with me

Hi everyone, i had planned to write today (two weeks before i posted) after someone asked about how things were going for my husband with work but the day got away on me. I have 10 minutes and will do what i can and finish it tomorrow. i have to work tonight so i won't be back.**This will probably be two posts though as i started writing and it got away into something else entirely.**

So i will start with me, i was real sick for 2 weeks, then i still had some dental issues to deal with. I had to get a tooth pulled that i just had a filling on. Never again will i listen to the dentist when they say they don't think something will work but let's try it. Too much money. He didn't want to pull it because of where it is BUT most of my family has dental problems, very few have their real teeth and they all are going to come out eventually as i have 1st stage gum disease so no more fooling around.

last night i went for a brain MRI (January 20th) to check for MS. I don't think i have it, but i have many symptoms. I will be talking to someone and all a sudden i can't form a word. Like yesterday, i was on the way and had a passenger to drive my car back so i could take something to help me relax. I was trying to talk about cruise control and i could describe what i was trying to say but for the life of me could not get those words out. They are literally gone at the moment, no where to be found. I rarely figure it out on my own, someone else has to say the word. That has been happening almost 2 years now, just started out of the blue very slowly. I also have some major dizzy spells and they come daily now getting in and out of bed, bending over etc. I know people can get dizzy if they get up to fast but this is different. I have had some doozies in the past i told the doctor about and these are still different. I know my body, and i know when something isn't right.

**Update, i called the doc office today to see what the results were. His nurse called me back and that they got the results today, the doctor looked at them and sent them for scanning. She then said that he mentioned i had an appointment coming up (which means they had to check for it) and would just give me the results then. I asked someone that worked at the clinic if i should worry as i usually get the results over the phone if it is nothing and she said it isn't urgent or they would have had me come in right away but that it still may be a bit worrisome since he wants to see me to go over the results. If i did have MS and it was slow going it wouldn't be urgent. I am trying not to worry about it, but it is hard. I want to think there is nothing wrong but i have already had 3 surgeries and test results that i was not expecting.** My appointment is not until the 20th so that will be a long two weeks.

It is just like my weight (this makes more sense when you read it after i know when something isn't right lol). I was telling someone that even though i don't have the clusters usually involved i think i have PCOS, i have had 2 major ovarian surgeries for cysts, another large one appeared last year (and i was the one who knew something was wrong and asked for the ultrasound) and many more of the normal kind (normal for women). I know when i have the bad ones, i am the one who gets the ultrasound request because i can feel them, i can feel the difference in pain. I haven't been wrong yet. I ballooned when i gained weight. I mean ballooned. No explanation and all any doctor says is just lose it. I was talking to my step mom the other night and she told me that they don't understand it either because i eat like a bird. I have ALWAYS eaten like a bird. I eat less than most children. I get full very very fast. If i drink water i can not eat, so so bloated that i am not hungry. Hard to explain. Anyways, i would have to eat a shit ton of unhealthy food to gain the weight at rapid levels i have. My thyroid comes back borderline one time and fine the next. With PCOS uncontrollable weight gain is a symptom. It just all adds up. I have an appointment for the MRI results in a month. I will look into it then.

Now i am writing present day (feb 3). My back has been seriously acting up for the last 2 weeks. It has been a few years since it went out like this. I had to go to the hospital for my pleasure shot (toradol) and it did nothing for me this time :(. It is so so painful. When the doc came in he used my legs to test the issue and as soon as he lifted the left one (side that the herniated disc is on) it made me cry, and not me trying to cry on my own. Those tears that just escape. He could tell my pain level immediately. It works for my gallbladder and worked last time i had a back issue but not this time. I am not going to the chiropractor yet because i have an appointment when my husband is home and a massage appointment a few days later so i want to see if the two together make a difference.

So......that is mostly what is going on with me. I haven't got much packing done. 4 weeks of sickness/pain doesn't make it easy. This is my first evening home in almost 2 weeks. Last night my dad needed a ride to go buy a new truck so i took him.

Now here is why it took me so long to get this post done......idk if anyone was around back when i had a major falling out with the best friend i had for 15 years before the wedding. That was 3 years ago last month. A few weeks back i was checking my email......and i had one from her. I was a bit flabbergasted. I really didn't expect to talk to her again. I was VERY angry with her but now i have kind of calmed down. It took a lot of guts i am sure for her to be emailing me in the first place after that. I have a huge sense of pride, it would take a lot in order for me to email someone and i mean A LOT.

I felt that if i even cared about her as  a friend at one time then i owed her to at least respond. Mostly because of how much balls it took to even write. We have emailed every night since. Kind of a bit of everything. Idk what to think or feel right now. I haven't overthunk it at all.

I am hoping to get another post up soon about how things are going for my husband.  He will be here next Wednesday! I have a lot planned.