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I want to write, honestly it helps me, but lately i can do nothing but cry, and i can't keep a train of thought or focus on anything in order to write.

I do have to say though, that if you are after someone to quit smoking for a long time and they finally quit whatever you do DO NOT trivialize it whatsoever. You do NOT understand, and you won't because you don't smoke but it is FOREVER life altering, just like an alcoholic never touching a drink again, or a heroin addict never doing drugs again. It is the HARDEST addiction to overcome and NOTHING, i mean NOTHING compares to it other than drugs/alcohol. To a smoker it is part of their every day life just like their children, spouse, job, family etc. etc. etc. Smoking is the one thing they can count on when they can't count on anyone else. It is the ONE and only thing that helps them get through every little situation. It doesn't talk back, it just calms you instantly. When you take that away you are left with NOTHING(for a crutch).

Most people i know that smoke no of no other way to relax. Substituting chocolate, pop, chips, or any other food does not relax you, nor does it give you a clear head. Unless you know the exact feeling you really do not get it. When your family, spouse, children, friends aren't there the cigarettes always were, they were the only thing one could count on 100% all the time. After all humans are not perfect creatures and will NOT be there 100%, it is impossible. If you have hours, days, months (in case of military) where you can't talk to your spouse they are there. If your partner is unreachable they are there. They are by your side no matter the circumstances, non-judgemental. When your heart is broken they are there. When you are happy they are there. A non-smoker does not realise how much smoking balances a person.

Take that away and you have a completely emotional unbalanced person. When someone quits smoking (seriously not just quit for now) and it has taken over their emotions you HAVE to support them more, you need to be there for them like never before. We WILL lash out without knowing we are or meaning to. Things WILL affect us deeper than it would on a normal basis, something you think is nothing is a HUGE deal because we have nothing to fall back on anymore, the safety net has been taken out from under our feet and we are hanging by a wire not knowing where to go. Some people handle it ok but the ones i know haven't. Add depression (seasonal & circumstance) to the mix and you have a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. You have to realise this person that you love is NOT in the right frame of mind, they may seem ok but really, they are not. You don't have to tip toe around them but you have to get that you have to be nicer & more understanding. When you fall in love it isn't supposed to have conditions, therefore you have to help the person you love get through it, that is what people in love do. There will be a rainbow at the end, i just can't tell you a timeline. Maybe when things calm down and a situation finally gets resolved (unless it backfires, then i will be worse than ever (sorry about that) ) i will be able to be on the path to fully recover emotionally, but right now, in my most stressful time in my entire life that is just not going to happen. I can't be emotionally stable going through all that. I don't know anyone that honestly would be ok in my shoes.