*Waves*

Hey blogland,

Life has been pretty busy here lately. My mom was down. My sister (the one i really didn't have much to do with) moved back here for the first time in over 10 years and we have many events. I just realized i did not get the post done with bear on the quad. i will try for that next week. The pictures are just too cute.

So i am going to start with my never ending health issues. I have to have another surgery. This one is not invasive as it is just a nose surgery but a surgery where i am fully knocked out none the less. I have to spend the night in ICU as well because of my sleep apnea.

I managed to get in to the ENT who had a cancellation yesterday. When i got the call the day before i jumped on it knowing that he is so hard to get in to see. I have had now 2 MRI's this year plus a CT last year that showed the fluid in my head. The 7 rounds of antibiotics have not cleared it. That means more needs to be done. I don't know the name of the surgery because i haven't read the papers yet. It is the common one where they remove part of the bone to open the passage way so that there is a bigger area for fluid to drain. They will then drain the one on the left with a needle but can't get to the ones behind the forehead. He said with it being more open they should then drain on their own.

I am excited. I have wanted this surgery now for 2 years. I have always felt it would make a difference with my sleep apnea too. My pressures are 16/20. They used to be 11/20 so i would love it if they would be lower again. There is a lot of expenses and driving to the city. We have public health care (paid for by our 30% income taxes) but i have to take off work, gas, meal etc for all these tests and appointments. I am still lucky, thankful and grateful that we have the system we do. I couldn't imagine having to decide between healthcare and putting food on the table, or paying the power bill.

I am also extremely sick right now. I have so much pain in my stomach i don't know how to place myself. This is day 3 and it is not getting any better. They got me in for a cat scan tomorrow morning and i hope it shows something so that there is a course of action. I have been given different meds and i just can't afford to keep buying things that do not work.

As for my sister............well........i still did not have much of a relationship with her before she came down but have actually seen her a lot since she has been here. She has stayed at my place a few times. This is one of those situations in life where you have to put someone else's needs before your own. She is having a tough time and needs me so i had to set aside my feelings and do what i felt is right. TBH i didn't even really care if i ever had a relationship with her again. It was toxic for me and i had to do what was best for me at the time. I have given her chance after chance and she just kept stomping on me every chance she got. I loved her, but i did not like her. She has always wanted us to be close, but kept things toxic. She has missed me over the years and i missed what we had too, but i had to stand my ground.

My husband is having a tough time with it (she screwed him over royally and stole from him the first time she met him, but passed all the blame to her husband at the time taking no responsibility to this day). He is doing well though and not complaining too much. I have stressed this is something i need to do. If she screws me over again though........ He grew up differently than i did so it is tough for him to understand and i have to respect that.

I have faith and believe that she will not do that. I keep things fairly light because that is what she needs right now. I can't put any trust in her BUT i can remain optimistic and if things go well then in the future there could be healing. It would be good for my mother who has wanted nothing but us to be sisters again. We will see. We even went to the zoo on the weekend just the 2 of us. It was nice.

I won't be back on for a bit. We are going on a road trip to Edmonton for my buddies wedding this weekend. My house is going to be packed full of guests keeping an eye on things. This town has gone crazy with crime lately (92 yr old woman getting raped by 22 yr old man in her home recently for one). I then have a bridal shower next weekend and my 2nd of 3 weddings the week after so it will be very busy.

i hope everyone is doing well. I am posting this fast so no time to check it over to see if it makes sense.