Disappointed :( NSFW-swearing

I started this on the 27th but posted on the 29th but it may show posted on the 27th.

I usually don't write about too many people or situations outside of my family. I prefer to keep some of that private. I am a pretty open book but i say what i mean and i mean what i say so i don't ever want to say something i will regret, which is why i did not post this when i first wrote it, i needed to try to take some emotion out of it. I was told that my posts about Vegas were offending to Americans and all i did was complain. WTF!!! Seriously???

In my very first post about Vegas i said that i wrote them for a Vegas message board, a board where people want to know the kinds of things i posted. I did NOT write them for the blog but some people here were interested so i copied and pasted. I went back and read those posts again, i am not sure how someone could even take those posts to mean i hate America. Everyone on the message board said they loved the details and going through some of the comments here people said it sounds like we had a great time and they loved the details, which we did! I posted pics and statuses on Facebook of the great time we were having, i couldn't quite do the same here.

These posts are just a small picture of our trip. We had a friggen blast, i would go back again in a heartbeat. If you were on my fb you would have seen the pictures and my happy statuses and how much we were having fun. When i write a post about my days though i am going to be real. Having shitty service is NOT an american thing, yes i mentioned it at a couple times but those are places that the people on the boards go too! Since when is shitty service a hate on America? You can get that anywhere. FFS it is pretty damn dumb to get offended over those posts and think i am shitting on America because i do NOT like American Whiskey and some other products. Are you fucking kidding me? I am allowed to have different tastes! Also, they are just a SMALL summary of what we did that day, we were busy living it up.

Come try the products i am comparing and THEN and ONLY then do you have the right to fucking judge me! I am the one that has tried them all, not you! I will elaborate more on this in another post. Here is a foreign concept, if you really think i had a shitty trip and hated America then why don't you be a fucking Grown up and ask me, cause you made completely wrong assumptions and that was a shitty thing to do! This whole concept of assumptions instead of communication boggles me completely, my husband does it all the time, he is usually wrong too (and most assumptions are not about me, just general assumptions). If someone thinks that low of me then they really know absolutely fuck all about me! Someone who was truly my friend would not even had that thought reading my posts.

I am pissed off, and i am hurt, i will get over it, but i can't get over the disappointment i feel right now. I lost someone who i thought was a true friend yesterday. I met her on here 3 years ago, she was someone i thought was so absolutely awesome. I couldn't believe i had come across another version of me. She was real, she was raw, she had similar writing style to me. I felt like she was a soul sister. I haven't come across many people like that in my life. Her life has changed drastically in the last couple years......for the better and i was quite happy for her, too bad it turns out that she is not my real friend :(.

I don't pretend to be something i am not, ever. I tell everyone how i am right off the bat. I am the same with everyone. Some people can handle it, some can not. I will tell you what i think, even if i do not agree with you or you do not agree with me either BUT i will ALWAYS be the person in your corner, any and every time you need someone. I will do what ever i can for my friends. I am extremely loyal.

See, here is the beauty of being unique & individual.........it is OK to be different, it is OK to think different, it is OK to have different opinions and not really like what someone has said because it is different than yours. Life would be pretty fucking boring if we all had to think and act the same. I will always give my opinion or advice, that is just how i am. Do you have to listen to me? Do you have to follow it? Absolutely NOT!!! I will still give you that other perspective, sometimes a person needs that and sometimes they don't. I will not get offended if someone doesn't like my advice. Again, that is the beauty of it, you don't have too, but DON'T you dare fucking tell me i am something i am not. Don't you dare fucking tell me that i meant something different than what i said because you wanted to READ more into it than what i actually said. That is on you NOT me!! One of my friends whom i have had a rocky relationship the last couple years said to me recently "i may not always agree with you, i may not always like what you say but i will ALWAYS know where i stand with you, there is no pretenses or pretending". That sums it up right there.

If someone posts a picture and it shows just a fraction of a big picture i am only going to see what shows in the picture because that is all the picture shows. Now if you go outside into the corner and take an angled picture and show what you see when you look outside then i will see a beautiful space the way you see it, because you showed the BIG PICTURE, not just a little corner of a picture. How can someone see a space is beautiful if you don't fully show the space??? Absolutely nothing rude to be meant by what i said, nothing at all, not in the way i said it, nor in the way i meant it. It is not my fault if you interpret it wrong because you want to be pissy and instead of asking me about it you let it stew and chalk it up as something to hold against me unbeknownst to me.

I am also not a hypocrite, i can not stand hypocritical people, they drive me crazy. If i leave a comment that i mean in a really nice way about your rings on a picture of your nails (i LOVE the rings, they are beautiful and unique) and you reply with a snotty comment how is that ok? How can you say people are rude & snotty and then do the same damn thing you are accusing people of? I don't care if you are pissed off and building frustration over things you perceive, that is not fucking cool! If you are going to throw stones you better not live in a glass house. You better make sure you are squeaky fucking clean or you are just a hypocrite. Yes i can be judgmental at times with people, but i will never be a hypocrite. I don't tell people i think they are making snide comments and then go and make one myself, that is not fair at all. Matter of fact, it is complete bullshit. It is NOT my fault you wanted to take things that way because you wanted someone to be mad at. I can truly say my intentions were pure, as long as i know that, then that is all that is going to matter. Again, if someone thinks that low of me, then you do not know me and you are not really my friend. A real friend would say hey, i found that to be rude, what exactly did you mean? That is what true friends do, fake friends just get all pissy and hold shit against them that is stupid (like taking offense to posts that are not even about you!)

I am not going to let someone turn things around on me and try and make me feel bad because they perceived something completely different than i meant. I will never make a comment on a picture or a post with any malice. Unfortunately that doesn't always convey well in writing, whether it be Facebook, a blog, a text, whatever, it just doesn't. I am an intense person sometimes, i just come out and say things, or ask questions if i am curious. That is really all it comes down to for me, curiosity. I have said this before, if you do not want people asking questions or commenting unless it is exactly what you want to hear then don't post. People need to stop getting so offended over every little thing and stop thinking everyone is out to get them. That usually is not the case. Your the one who turned around on me, that is your choice, don't act like i turned on you first......that is simply not true.

I have also stated time & time again............people are not objects to be owned. We have feelings, real feelings. Facebook, twitter, blogger are all public entities with us having "private" pages. On those private pages we should be able to say what ever we want. I see all the time people complaining in statuses about what others say on their page. WTF???? I just don't get it. Who the hell has the right to play god and determine what someone can talk about on their space? If you think someone is negative all the time and you are "tired of hearing about it" then just fucking delete them, or hide their statuses (Facebook does have that option) so that you will not see what they post (yet still be their "friend"). It is not hard to do. If you don't like someone who posts all their "drama" all the time, then again same as before. I think soooo many people make such a big deal out of Facebook, they think it should be only upbeat fake happy shit. Life is real, life is not fake happy shit. There should be a balance. People should be allowed to have a bad day and share it. If those bad days turn into a week or month who cares??? Just like if people are having great days, weeks, months.

I find sometimes Facebook to be great support and it only gets 1/8 of what my life is like, if that. While it is OK to give advice, we do not have the right to determine what someone does or doesn't do with their space. Just like we can tell someone what we think about a decision they are making but ultimately it is their life, and their decision. I think if more people were true on Facebook it actually would become a better place. I don't even go on their to catch up on people's lives anymore. I sometimes look at my feed, for a few minutes, then i play my games, reply to emails or send them, i barely go on people's actual pages, but if i did, i would love to see reality vs what most post. My husband has a friend who ONLY posts his trucks, toys, etc etc and it makes it look like he is bragging. I don't look at it as bragging but i said to my husband...........no one should envy him, because if he lost his job it would all be gone, and it would, so i would rather see people's ups and downs which make them seem more human to me. It is OK if that is not what you want to see on Facebook, but don't bitch about it.

I have turned comments off for this post, i don't want it to turn into a bitch fest. I usually don't censor them but i guess right now i have too, in case if someone wants to accuse me of hating on Americans with this post too. I will write another post someday soon talking about the products i find way different. If anyone else has a problem with my Vegas posts, too fucking bad, because as i said, i wrote them for the future (as i will be going back for sure) and for those on the message board who need to know from real people what different places were like and heck, some of the bloggers have even said they were glad for some of the reviews, in case they go there. I also wrote about the places that i really liked, and had good/great service, because i will want to go back to those place.

Also for the record.......i love America, i love some of the laws that are way better than ours, i love how people can defend their property (which we can not do) etc etc. I can go on and on, if you are going to accuse me of being Anti-American maybe you should make sure it is true first. It is just some products that i do not like and paying so much for healthcare (though you guys do get in much sooner). I have had a blast on most of my trips south. In fact when our 1st anniversary trip to Calgary got cancelled and we went to MN instead i had Canadian Flags on my big toes but i did up my fingernails as American Flags because i was excited and proud to be in America for Independence day and i was PROUD to show that as a Canadian i was coming together with my southern counterparts that day. I celebrated along with the Americans just like i would have done if i was an American. We had a ton of fun, saw a parade, chatted with people and had a great day! Canada is a great country but only a few Americans experience it and our products where many more Canadians go down to the USA for a variety of reasons. At least i have actually tried the different products to have a full opinion.

One of the biggest problems in this world i find is lack of communication.........i love to talk and work things out so i don't get it. It is such a hard thing for most people. Soon as it gets "too tough" for them they don't want to hear it. I find that such a shitty thing, but unfortunately i can not make people understand, or listen, who just don't care. Shutting people down is what hardens them, and that is sad. How many of these homeless people or people with mental illness would be better if only someone had listened to them, truly listened to them when their lives started getting hard? I have realized lately i am getting hard again, and starting to lose faith in people, and lack of communication/trust is what is making me feel this way. I hate it. I don't want to let people in my life because they are not going to stay........i do have some great real life friends right now.....but i keep them at a distance, and i always will, because of shit like this.

I got into my blog that i did up for the wedding and i am going to transfer some posts over there. If you do not have access to that one but want it then shoot me an email. austinsmomca@hotmail.com and please make sure you say what your blogger name is as not all emails match names.