Some more details-re written.

Alright, it appears i confused some (not on purpose) because i left out many details in my post about moving. I tend to over share so if i do not pick and choose the posts are stupid long (and they are long enough as is lol). I read this one 4 times, other than a bit of a cliffhanger i don't think it leaves a lot open to misinterpretation.

When we bought our house we got 20k knocked off because the roof is warped in one spot. It doesn't leak, but the perception is not good. As far as we know the rafters are ok but the roof needs to be fixed before we sell. It can mean a 30-40k difference in price which is huge for just a few thousand spent. We are going to do it ourselves and already have a crew ready to help. We can't do it until spring. It is ridic cold here and of course fixing roofs in winter is just not possible where i live. There is also a main wall back there that needs to be demo'd because a window leaked and we didn't catch it before it became a major issue so that has to be done at the same time.

For those reasons i did not even want to look into moving till spring. I also have a couple huge commitments next year, one in May, and one in August plus 2 weddings, one in the city, one in Edmonton. While i can get out of the August event i really don't want too. I have been on this committee now for 1.5 years (plus volunteered the year before) and i REALLY like this year's entertainment. I have seen the performer 3 times now, met him once (at a VIP event with my husband) and am really looking forward to meeting him again. Also, it is hard to put so much work into something and walk away from it. My husband knew this, and knew how i felt. I want to move but i thought it best that we wait till spring before we made a decision on where to go. He disagreed, he wanted to make more money before doing the roof. The sacrifice with that would be not being together right away. Unfortunately for me, that probably means that the hard work i put into this committee will be for nothing. I will not see the fruit of my labors. I am not going to choose it over my husband if the house sells right away though.

While it is true i applied for this job on his behalf he started to look for jobs back in the spring/summer. This past spring we talked about moving to my mom's but then they talked about moving as well so we nixed the idea. We then started looking at Saskatchewan. He started applying for jobs all over, he signed up for alerts and while he was at work he would send his resume off. I didn't quite realize the scope of it at first. I didn't realize he was looking every single day. I was still in the mindset of moving next year. He was starting to get discouraged and down because he was not hearing back from anyone. He did not tell me about all the jobs he applied for. Once in a while he would mention a job to see what i thought about location. Finally someone called him and he asked why he wasn't hearing back and if there was anything he needed to do. The guy told him that he needed his Standard (not emergency like most have) first aid and another course before he could step on site for most places. That guy wanted him but it was only 4 days off in a row and a 10 hour drive. he would have also had to pay 550 a month for accommodations (plus food).

He called me (because i was at work) and i wasn't set on him getting these courses before a job. What if he got them but still no job? Almost  $300 out of pocket. To me that is not chump change. I didn't care about paying for the courses, just didn't want it to be for nothing. I asked if he was sure that this was the way he wanted to go about it and that it is what he wanted to do and he said yes. he came to see me at work and i found the courses and got him signed up. It worked out well, because they were all on his days off and within a week.

That was end of August, beginning of September. September 1st my mom called and asked why we were not moving there, i told her because they were not sure if they were staying there and she said with them buying a new trailer they had to stay for 5 years. We (G and I) started discussing it more. I haven't had my mom around for 1/2 my life. I have gone upwards of 2 years without seeing her. I would LOVE to have her around. even though she can drive me crazy, she is still one of my best friends. G isn't that close with his family, he talks to his mom all the time and sometimes his sister but his brothers not so much. They all have their own lives.

So yes, i did apply for that job, then phoned him. In the spring when we looked at moving there we also looked into this company because my friend's husband works there but here in Manitoba now. It was not a new company, or new job. We had previously discussed it and had applied in the spring before deciding we couldn't move if they were unsure if they were staying. At that time he did not get a call back. I do ALL our business stuff. He doesn't like doing the applications. I fill out every single paper for health expenses, our taxes, everything. He was ok with me doing the application. It wasn't "sprung" on him per se since he had already applied for that job once. They emailed him a paper application that was different and he actually forwarded it on for me to print and fill out for him. He just signs at the bottom. I then faxed it back and we waited to see if we would hear from them.

He has me listed on all his accounts, has papers signed for car insurance as i am just better at dealing with people and taking care of things. He is a great person, but has different strengths than i do. I am the one who will fight (not literally) for things. I am polite, but firm. I am never rude, but i get things done. He would just give up. To give you an example; a week before he was moving i called Bell mobility. They had the S5 on for $99 and i wanted clarification on a few things. They asked if we wanted to sign up and i said he was moving across the country and they said ok, he will have to sign up once he is in BC. I checked the website the night before he was leaving and the price was $199! When we went to the store to get his phone they said all the prices were raised because of the release of the iPhone 6. I said, the iPhone 6 was out last week when i spoke to the lady on the phone and they were still $99. The girl at the store called bell and spoke with 3 different people and they would not do anything for us. I assume because we were new customers, but he had been with his previous provider for 12 years; so very loyal.

I got back to my mom's and i called bell myself. I asked to speak to someone higher up. I spoke to 5 different people but finally got a $50 credit on my husband's bill. That was better than 0 of course so i was happy with that. I didn't even care so much that they raised the price, it was that when i spoke to the lady on the phone we could not get it then for $99 and she didn't say they were going to go up in price. I made sure the girl in the store knew i was not upset with her (but at bell) as she is just a worker but i do my homework and was not terribly pleased. We were switching phone companies so it would affect who i go with too.

G is not a big talker. He got a phone call from the company and talked to them for a while. He had many questions after that of things he forgot to ask so i suggested he write them down so that he would remember next time he spoke with him. They told him the next step would be medical stuff (all covered by them) and lung tests and someone would be in touch. He called them back a few days later to ask the questions he had and he was much more relaxed after that phone call. He had more of a clear picture about the job. He did the tests and a couple days later was told he passed them all. They then offered him the job. He took it on the spot, and worked on a date.

We have a pretty strong moral code. He worked for his boss (current at that time) for 5 years. His boss had a fly in (probably expensive too) hunting trip planned and G was covering for him. He was not going to screw that up for him so he told them he could start October 8th. He could not get into training in Red Deer till the 20th so he would work around the shop and do the training videos he needed before greenhorn school. I actually didn't add too much pressure to take this job but he probably put more pressure on himself than i did. Moving for me is not even a want at this point, it is a NEED. I just wasn't expecting it to go so fast. I did not pester him. He knew how happy it would make me to be closer to my mom. He doesn't see his parents that often. They are very busy. He talks to his mom on the phone mostly, that could be done from anywhere. I also told him while i probably would not come back (my son can and will come to me) unless i had a flexible job that he had the flexibility to come back a couple times a year if he wants. It depends on if we are going on a vacation that year for fund-age but that i would never stop him from coming to see his family. With knowing his schedule for the whole year we can peruse seat sales and watch for when the fares are low. Even if we moved to SK he would have been at least 10 hours away and no plane option available.

His family rarely comes to see him, he always has to go to them. We all get along, have never even had an argument, they just can't be bothered. For a lot of people, when they become adults they focus on themselves and the life around them. That is fine, but even more reason for us not to feel we need to stay because of them. We bought our house 4 years ago, only 6 months after his one brother bought his......3 blocks away. He has been to our place 3 times. 3 times in 4 years! My husband ALWAYS has to go to him.

My point in this is that our quality of life here is not the greatest. We spend the bulk of our time by ourselves (together). New town, new province would give us a chance to get out and meet new people. There is no history there, and no one knows our story. I told him once i get there that we are not going to stay in the house all the time. He wants me to do everything by myself here and i hate it. I didn't get married to be doing everything alone. He was not like that when i met him. I can't go into specifics as it is not my story but he took a huge pay cut at one point, like 1/2 his previous salary so we did not have a lot of money for many years and had to play catch up once he got his last job. It was decent pay, but not the greatest, better than what he was getting by far though. He was depressed because he never had any money to do things with. With the first job that he had made good money he wanted to do more, because he had the money to do more.

Money is not everything, but it can play a major role. This job is DOUBLE what he makes here. His base salary alone is just a bit better than what he made here. I heard happiness for the first time the day that he got his first load paycheck. He paid off his cc but once he actually starts having money in the bank i think it is going to make a huge difference for him. I have no clue what he has in the bank now. While i do all the business stuff i don't "control" the finances. I only ask when i need something, which is not often. He is still in the broke mentality, but i am not sure if he is actually broke still or is just used to that. He only gets the load paychecks once a month so will see middle of December what his normal will be for winter since his first load paycheck only had 4 loads on it. We keep separate bank accounts for our every day stuff although we do have a joint account as well. It works well for us, neither of us want to change it. We each have the things we are responsible for and after that it depends who has money at the time.

Now, there are a few reasons i am not moving there right now. I don't know about other places but anyone i know who has moved provinces or changed jobs has done it the way we are. I can't live with my mom. They have 2 cats and a small dog and live in a 2 bedroom trailer. We have a big dog as well. That would be 4 adults, 2 cats, 2 dogs. Not a lot of room for us all. Him on his own isn't so bad. If they had a bigger place it would work but they don't. I also want to make sure he likes the job, if i went now we wouldn't have anything to come back to if for some reason it did not work for him. In fact, many people we know in the oil industry are in camps and are gone for 2-3 weeks at a time every single stretch and then home for 3-4 days.

He is on a 15 on/6 off rotation once i move i will get to see him most days (not all) so that is better than most of the other jobs. Also, the other friends he has that are not in camp work much harder than he has to. He is a truck driver so he spends a lot of time at sites sitting waiting for them to be ready for him. That is what he is finding so challenging. He is bored at times. I am going to send our portable DVD player back with him and his movies as well as some other stuff i put in his stocking to help with that. He is still in the go go go mentality. It takes more than 20 days (his actual time in the truck so far) to get adjusted to that. For the 15 days he is on call 24/7. So far he has not gotten a call in the middle of the night (but it can and does happen) but he has been gone from 4 pm till 6am (can sleep in bunk while waiting). He then has to try and sleep during the day, in a room that isn't very dark (even with garbage bags).

Not being able to live with my mom means we need a place to live. Rent is not cheap for most places where the good jobs are. My husband will not live in an apartment. He ONLY wants to live in a house, that doesn't leave a lot of options, especially with a dog. Rent in oil/lumber cities is minimum 1500 for apartments. I have done my research (in various places). For a house we are looking close to 2k plus utilities. That just doesn't make sense to me. It makes more sense to buy a cheap trailer in a trailer park (because there are no actual houses under 250k) where we will spend less than 1000 on lot rent and the mortgage combined and save what we can for a down payment for something better in a year or 2.

He hates the idea of both a mortgage and rent. I am not a fan of it either and if it was long term i would not want to do it but i know it is only short term. It doesn't make sense to throw money away. In a year or 2 we will have figured out if we like it there. I will be working too, making more money than here, so i will save as well. I already have a couple connections and i have my administration certificate with 4.25 GPA (i worked damn hard for that, didn't have good grades in school) plus this manager job for the last year so i am not too worried about getting a job. I have good references and there are way more jobs up there than here. I also have a few connections with my mom's friends.

We need a deposit for the mortgage, we can't rely on this house to sell as we need that house beforehand so we have something to move into. It will take him a few months to get the deposit. I figure by May he should have it. I am looking after the bills here, and he will work on saving.We are doing the roof middle of April if all goes well and painting at the same time. We will then put the house on the market 3rd week of April. I was wanting to go in May regardless if the house sold right away or not but he said no. He said he wants the house to sell first so that it is something we won't have to worry about. He won't have a lot of bills so he also doesn't want to have to worry about 2 mortgages. I get it, but that could mean we will be apart for quite a while. If it doesn't sell by end of July i am not leaving before August 9th. If it does not sell by then we will have to look at our options and see if we want to rent it out. Right now that is not a thought because it can be quite the hassle. I would prefer it to sell in May though and me possibly come back in August for the event. I don't know if that is feasible, but i would try. I don't want to be apart from my husband longer than necessary.

My husband also hates, hates, hates change. It makes him very uncomfortable. He lacks confidence. I have to build him up constantly. He doesn't believe in himself. He was in an abusive (to him) relationship before i met him that ended in cheating, then the next one cheated and went back to her ex. That is all i am going to say about it, not my place to say but i am STILL fighting those demons hard. He doesn't think like i would cheat (i wouldn't) and is not jealous of my male friends but his confidence is still very very low. He is not an emotional person, and doesn't talk about his feelings so i am not sure if he will ever get over it. I just do my best to encourage him because he is doing well, it is working out exactly the way i told him it would. For the first time in a long time he fits in somewhere. He has people at work asking if he wants to go for lunch every week. He never had that kind of thing here. I WANT to be up there with my husband. I love that man with everything i have in me. This is just the way it has to be for now, but it is going to get easier, for both of us. I am the happy person who tries to get others to see the happy stuff while he is the cynical person who doesn't think people do things out of the goodness of their hearts (even though he sees me do it all the time lol). He is CONSTANTLY thinking someone has ulterior motives. I am hoping my mom and her partner rub off on him.

While it may have come across as i was forcing him to move and being pushy i assure you that is not the case. I did not write that post very well. Also, because i don't have the time to blog as often as i like or because i think no one is reading i tend to cram too much into a post. If i started making the posts smaller but keeping them in drafts so i could focus better on what i was writing they would come across the way i mean them to. I will write another post with the kind of schedule we are looking at. This is the longest stretch  but after this one we should only be apart a maximum of 8 weeks at a time. He could come home after every stretch of days but i don't wanna spend too much money, neither does he.

This blog may only see my negative/intense posts but that is because that is typically what i want to get off my chest. My happy posts do not get much attention lol. IRL i am a fairly happy person who tries to look for the silver lining in everything. It doesn't always work but i know i try hard. I have an A type personality though, a strong personality, but i know how to compromise. G was amazed at how well i handled all the stuff that came up the day of the wedding (while being extremely sick) because i didn't snap or break down. I married the person i want to spend the rest of my life with :)

9 more days and he will be back with me for 5.5 days. I will do another post soon which will explain the first paragraph on the post "I am here" which had left people wondering. My husband really is doing ok (and not just him telling me so, my mom is there every day so she gives me updates as well) but sometimes it can be just a tad overwhelming which is natural. Especially when you get a phone call from a bawling hysterical wife who is very upset about her dog (yes he is alive).......