End of concert season :(

Tonight was our last concert of the year :(. I won tickets on fb through a radio station in the city.

It was all Canadian acts. Jess Mosaluke (amazing, unbelievable set of pipes). Dean Brody and Paul Brandt. DB and PB had roughly the same amount of stage time.

We both agreed while we liked PB and knew all his songs we LOVED DB. He had the energy and sound that makes a great concert.

With two concerts in the stands this year i have fully realized i do not like to be in the stands. This is my 4th time in the stands. 2 of those times (including tonight) i won the tickets and the other two were for shows that were such hot items they both sold out in 1 minute.

I like the floor, i like standing and dancing and having fun with everyone else. The stands just doesn't have the same energy and everyone is sitting, what is up with that?? At a high energy show everyone should be dancing as far as i am concerned. That being said our sight line was absolutely perfect. We were in row 7 and right at the end of the aisle very close to the stage.

Two weeks from now my mom will be here and i will have done my pre admission clinic and getting ready for our halloween party.

In other news........i quit my day job. I need a change. I don't mind it but tired of not having the things i need. I have grown the business by 20% since i have been there with various ways (including social media and word of mouth) but yet nothing can get fixed and bills do not get paid. I then have to deal with the unhappy customers and unhappy vendors. They all know it is not my fault but it is really tough to placate the locals. My boss doesn't live here so he never has to deal with it. I know that is a manager's job BUT the business owner should provide said manager with the tools to do the job properly. This is a small town and i don't want to sink with the ship.

With me having to take 6 weeks off work it is just time. I still have my other 2 jobs and 5 shifts scheduled at the one job starting the 1st day i am back at work middle of December so that will get me a few $$$ in January.

We are in limbo about what we are doing. I was going to go to BC end of December and look for a job and then he follow later. We were at an end of the season party for a job G picked up for harvest and they said they wanted to offer him a job. We now have to wait and see what the job offer is. I want to move soooooooooooo bad but if it is lucrative we have to think about it. I REALLY like the people too and got along with the wife amazingly well, let's call her Jen, and call her husband Gary. I can be my true self with her, no holds barred. I mean i just met her Friday night and when she told me i needed to loosen up (relax) on Saturday i looked at her and said i am loose, bitch! Now, i was drunk, but it was more than that. My husband was like holy frick i can't believe you had the nerve to say that to her but she just laughed and took it the way i meant it. She is a person who believes say what you mean, mean what you say, just like i am. No bullshit comes from her. It is scary how alike we are. She is even more outspoken than I am though.

Now, the other shoe with that is..... her sister (JR) has BPD like my sister but she had  left her husband of 18 years and her 3 children for a 19 year old. JR completed culinary school (she appeared to make great meals as well) and left it all..............and so Jen can not stand her, kind of how i was with my sister. She has no sympathy for her what so ever. We all know mental illness is no joke but this lady (Jen) lost her 12 year old (only) son in an accident 6 years ago on the farm so she just can't accept her sister leaving her kids which i can understand BUT the one with BPD (JR) lives in Vancouver..........and happened to meet my sister back in May.......and now they are really good Friends. JR gives this sob story about her family to make people feel sorry for her and so i have to be careful so that my sister doesn't know Jen & Gary are JR's sister and brother in law.

I am still struggling mentally with my sister. It is VERY very tough. I hate having to walk on egg shells with anyone. It's just not who i am. I don't bother with people i can't be myself with. My real friends like who i am and i don't have to pretend with them. Shannon wants to do what she wants, say what she wants with no recourse, no accountability. The problem with that is i am supporting her in many ways...........she wants me to do all these things for her but have ZERO say in anything. I wish i could explain it better than that, but i can't, because it is just too much personal info about her which is not my place to share. Also, she doesn't give back nearly as much as i would like her too. I do a lot, and i mean a lot for her so 1/4 of it back would be nice. I don't like the feeling of being used or taken for a ride. I am sure she is not doing it on purpose but she doesn't get that she can't just take, take, take. She also doesn't get that if she is taking my money, time & gas that i am going to have some thoughts on her actions. If you want to have full say with no one else having any opinion then you shouldn't be asking for help or wanting to rely on someone else.

One example that is not too personal is this.........she only gets a couple hundred a month. She had been putting all her change away. She had over 200$. Well.............she has ZERO $$$ for the rest of the month (till the 31st) and decided the best way to spend that 200 is on a tattoo. Today's hundred just got the coloring of a green leaf, that is it..........for 100$. Her tattoo is going to be 4-500 at this rate. I have an issue with that (and i have zero issues with tattoos, if you can afford them), she decided that was more important than any food she may need for the next 21 days. She is going to have to ask someone for money in order to even get a bit of milk for her cereal. Help yourself before you ask anyone else to help you. She just doesn't have the moral compass that seems to be fairly normal in most people. She has used people for as long as i remember now. My dad was giving her money.......and she would spend it on clothes, She has given me only $25 in gas since end of May. Even when i took her to the CSU she made me get gas money from my dad even though some dude had just given her $200. She bought a leather jacket before she left BC instead of paying her phone bill because the jacket would make her feel better. She has a heart, but no common sense and no sense of responsibility at all. She is 30 years old and this is the first time she has ever had her own place, ever.

I can't stop helping her either, because I feel compelled to just based on what i went through at the age of 19 when i had no one. So i guess i just have to vent a bit because i can't leave her to sink at this point. She has snapped at me over crap (i asked her why she didn't go back to school when she complained others had it all and she LOST it on me, not cool) a few too many times and i already told her today that i won't have any patients for that after my surgery. Don't bite the hand that feeds you..............one day it will bite back and blood will be everywhere.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving (Monday). My first year ever without turkey. I am not going to the family thanksgiving so just making a pork roast with me hubby and my sister. We have turkey for halloween.