Merry Christmas!!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas with their families. Christmas can be such a hard time with some people not celebrating it for various reasons, people having hard times, or some having no one to celebrate with. Our town has a meal Christmas day for those without anyone to have a meal with. Last year they had 100 people, in a town that is not very big (less than 13k people) that is a lot. I wanted to volunteer there this year but i am unable to as i can't stand for long yet. Next year i would like to do something though, where ever i am. With my son being grown and us not doing Christmas dinner at our house (we usually go somewhere) it is easy for me to do, at least till i have grandchildren. .Volunteering is hard for many on Christmas day because it is such a busy day so if i can do my part, why not.

On Saturday i finally got to go to a Christmas dinner. I skipped my family dinner for 2 years after the pedophile got caught again but went last year and again this year. I missed everything else this year so i was excited to finally get out of the house and dress up. I looked like a million bucks and felt like it too, on the outside. I posted this picture today on fb and it has gotten the most comments and likes since my weight loss comparison. I also had many notice my weight loss which felt good. I see it mostly in my face. Once i can do exercises i need to tone my arms and thighs. I have excess skin in both areas now.

Here are a couple pictures we took yesterday. My sister bought me the shirt, sweater and scarf. I do not own any fashion scarves (but should) and i love these kind of sweaters. I own a shorter black one and a longer dark grey one and i like wearing short sleeves but having my arms covered. 

Fake it til you make it. I was not posing, i was looking at my sis waiting for her and my husband snapped it. 

He had to get in every picture we took. He then stood up and put his paws in mine. He wanted to love me. How cute is he.

I work 3 evening shifts this week. Christmas eve i am picking up a friend who would have been alone on Christmas morning. My nieces (her daughters) are going to be with their dad (my bil) till 3pm Christmas day and i certainly was not going to let her stay at home by herself. This is her first Christmas without the girls in the AM so i know she would have been depressed. My sis and i bought her a few things to open so she would not feel left out. I am also going to pick up my sister and the 3 of us are going to look at the lights after i get off work since it will be 11:30 pm and start Christmas day off right.

They are spending the night and since we are kid free we are going to sleep in. We will then open gifts and i will make buttermilk waffles (from scratch) for brunch. I can't do bacon yet and my husband doesn't like pancakes so this will be perfect. With my husband not working and me just back to work part time we have less gifts this year, which is OK. I love Christmas and i love to give and receive presents. I don't get gifts throughout the year and growing up in a home with alcohol/cigarettes and pot were the priorities. The ONLY time i ever got anything new was Christmas & Birthdays i still kind of have that same mentality but not in a greedy way. I truly enjoy shopping for people and seeing their happiness with the gifts i buy. I am easy to please as well. My husband's ex was hard, made him spend money he didn't have, gave him a list but then was not satisfied so he has even made comments like he is glad i am so "simple". I truly love the things i get. He is not a romantic by any means but he pays attention to things i mention throughout the year that i wish i could afford. I also collect unique tins so i usually get a couple of those with different candy. I am not eating much of that these days but i still got a couple new ones.

This is my first Christmas with my sister since we were kids. Things are hard this year though. Her and my brother got into a huge fight for the first time in their adult lives so she is having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. He is also really mad at my dad (as am i) so this just isn't how she expected things to be when she came here. Her and my brothers gf had a falling out as well and will never speak again so things are pretty divided. My sister and brother will get past it but with that being his gf that leaves things always awkward. We cant have a normal family gathering because she wont come if my sister is there. I am impartial even if i do not agree with the things my sisters doing and her behavior right now she needs me, not a lecture. i want to give her a swift kick in the ass and get her to get her life on track (she is making really poor choices and very self destructive) it isn't my choice to make. She is also lieing to me about things (i can't tolerate lies) but as hard as it is i just have to sit back right now.

It is going to be a difficult day but i will make the best of it. We are going to my grandmas for supper. I have gone there most years. It is the one day i go to her house. I can't handle the smoking in house smell so i avoid that most of the time. I didn't get Austin much at all this year, i didn't have much money. He ignores everyone (including gram) unless he is playing a video game so i am not going to reward that. Even right before my surgery he was only concerned with the present my mom had for his birthday/Christmas. He actually told me to bring it to him after my surgery (this was before the surgery and everything went to shit). He has always been greedy though. Grandma used to buy him tons of presents. Not sure if you remember the story but one year he was going to be with me Christmas morning and my brother told her i bought Austin an ipod. She couldn't have me do something better than her so she went and bought him one and then gave it to him before he came to my house 3 days before Christmas (she had never ever ever given him a gift before Christmas, always waited until that day, even if he was with me in the morning) specifically so that he wouldn't be excited over the one i got him. Yes, she really did that to spite me, and everyone would tell you that.

I get told all the time by various people that he needs to get out of there because of how lazy he is. He is not a bad kid. He has an attitude though and ZERO responsibilities. He is not prepared for the real world. It breaks my heart but he likes that she does everything so he won't leave. He has his full license now and she still won't make him get a job for some responsibility and spending money. He should at least work weekends like most of the other kids i know. At 17 he needs SOME responsibility. She likes having someone depend on her for everything. She was abused when her kids were young. Not sure if that is the reason but she was the same way with my brother and dad. 

Despite what i write in here (as this is my venting place) i am a pretty positive happy person so i am going to try my best to make that a good day for everyone. Boxing day (the 26th) we are going to his parents for a pizza dinner. The only problem with that is only 2 pizzas can be cooked at one time. Should be interesting. I am looking forward to that but one of my sister in laws (the one in my wedding) i do not care for too much (nor her i, we are too different) has pissed off others as well with rude comments lately so i am hoping it is a good day.

I am excited to have my husband with me on NYE for the first time in 4 years. I couldn't go out this year if i wanted too and i won't be drinking for months yet so we are going to watch movies and order pizza. Sounds like a perfect night to me. My husband will probably have a drink or two but i won't until i am fully healed.

**seeing as this is a scheduled post i am editing it to post about the job interview**

My husband said the interview went well. He was there for an hour (good sign). He sounded like it is a job he thinks he would like. He was told it will take 5 days to get an answer from HR ( i guess they take the suggestion of the interviewer and probably call references). With it being the week of Christmas he should find out Tuesday or Wednesday and if he gets the job our lives will change drastically. I am looking forward to it, but also scared. Our house isn't even close to packed and i am nervous about getting the house sold fast and renting. We will be renting to start off no matter what but i hope we do not have to sit on this house long. It is in decent shape so i am hoping....