7 years ago today!

I hope all my american friends had a great thanksgiving! You guys should have it in October like us. I prefer the spread between thanksgiving in October and Christmas in December. It would feel too close together if ours was in November. Jen & Mum i also responded to your comments in my last post, take a lookie.

7 years ago today (the 29th) i met my husband. Now he says he met me sooner, at his parents place when he was about 14 as i hung out with his oldest brother when he was dating a friend of mine. For someone who has such a good memory i do not remember that at all. That was of the time i was cute, and had major abs (i loved sports, volleyball, basketball, track & field, etc and i played all kinds, now i can barely walk).

We met at the bar, on a night i did not even want to go out on. A co worker showed up with a bottle of whiskey trying to convince me because she wanted to go out. Finally i gave in, she did my hair and off we went. Turns out she met her future husband that night too lol.

Obviously it/we are meant to be. There are so many variables that could have made things different that night and it wouldn't have taken much for it to not happen yet here we are 7 years later.

I still remember that night like it was yesterday. At one point he even remembered what i was wearing and he is not a romantic guy nor does he have a good memory. I was also 80 pounds lighter and a size 14/16. I wish i was still that weight :(. My eating habits have not changed since i was a kid, i need to get this figured out.

I have done too much online shopping lately and i need to stop, i do not have the money for it. I have bought a whole bunch of new nail polish as i found a site that has salon quality nail polishes for cheaper than the cheaper brands at the drugstore. I have gotten quite into doing my nails and nail art. I was not going to buy any more for a while but the black Friday sale was too good to pass up. 8 china glaze nail polishes for $35? SCORE!! they were all decent shades too that i can use. I am hoping to be able to charge soon and start getting some more business, that will pay for it.

I needed new leggings as well and they were 40% off for black Friday, i had to get a new top to justify the $7.50 shipping charge. The black leggings i have now have holes close to the crotch and just aren't cutting it. I need leggings for some of my tops as well as my new uggs.

I then found my favorite eye shadow. I love, love, love this eye shadow and i only bought one because i do not buy multiples. They then discontinued it and i could not longer get it when i tried. I was getting eye infections all the time that are not passable to people but i did get it into my eye make up as i was wearing it the first time i got this infection and every time i would wear it i got the infection so i had to throw it out. I seriously wanted to cry, and i am not one to wear make up often so if i wanted to cry over it then it must be good. I found it on amazon but to ship to Canada they wanted 33$. that is crazy!

I sent a message to a friend in the states to see if she would get me some and i would send her a cheque (i know they are extinct but sometimes necessary lol). I then googled the shade (at first did not know the name, which is why i was searching the brand on amazon) and found it on ebay. It was only $16 for 3 with shipping so i grabbed it up! It was 2$ per on amazon but with shipping it was almost 40$ for 4, so 16 for 3 was a score as well. It probably would have cost about the same if my friend sent it.

I also ordered for a fundraiser from regal and got my husband a christmas present and a couple other things.

i have had 2 other small nail polish orders in the last month and i think i really need to stop shopping. I have not been spending much, but more than i should, especially without a job. I have EI right now so money coming in but that is not much. I had this problem last time i was out of work. I think it is an emotional need for me, some people eat, i shop. Shoppers Drug Mart has it's spend your point event this weekend (lower than the normal ones, bah) and i am hoping that will cure it for me for a while. After these there isn't much i need. I know what i need to do and what needs to be done but i constantly fight with my head (the guilty conscious) and usually go against what i know i SHOULD do. I really love a good deal which makes it so hard. I have even unsubscribed to some things just so i do not hear about the sales.

I asked my doctor if seeing a mental health counselor would be on my medical record and he said yes and that some places will not give you insurance if you do not disclose it (so it makes you look crazy even when you not) so it is not really an option i have at this moment. Here mental health workers are the only ones that are free and either way, something on my medical record is not what i want. My mental health is still ok, but i would like to find better ways to deal with things. Not having a job makes me super depressed, to the point that my house suffers because i don't have the energy to do anything except fool around on the computer. Without a job i feel worthless, like a loser. I know there are many people that apply for the jobs and my town is small (13k) but that doesn't make me feel better. I know i would have a job if i could be on my feet for long periods and do the more physical stuff. The fact i am so limited is what is not helping.

He did give me ativan though for the next time i have to go to the dentist, or for a tattoo, or for an MRI. I had a very hard time when i went for my last MRI and the one before i had lorazepam. It is just an acute order vs reoccurring and i only asked for 10. I do not need to take any extra drugs more than i normally take right now. The pain is getting unbearable but i will stick with what i do now. He thinks i have tendinitis in my shoulders/elbows which could be why i am having such problems and he said the right side of my neck is extremely tight in the area where i feel a pinched nerve that has been causing my headaches lately.

Not sure  what is going to be done about that. I know i will have to go back to him and get another referral and see what he wants to do. I asked for another MRI and told him to pick which area he wanted to look at first, neck, back or hip since they all need checked. I also asked for referral to ENT for my sinus problems of the last couple months. If i have issues that will require surgery i am thinking i will have to go for a pressure test again as i am sure if my nose is opened up more (i have small airways, even in my throat) that 16/20 will be too high.

I would love if it went back to 11/20. The higher it is, the louder my machine is which bothers me at times. My husband put my mask on when it was on 11 still and he didn't even last a minute, he was like i do not know how you keep that thing on. I do not feel it. When i felt like i wasn't breathing well with it on anymore i went for the test where it showed i needed it up to 16 and i don't even notice that, just the noise. If you are wondering what i am talking about, i have sleep apnea and have a machine with full face mask that i sleep with every night. It took me about 2 years to get used to it, have had it for 4 now and i prefer it on as i am so stuffed i can not breathe well without it.