Writing is hard

There is so much i want to say but i can't. I want to write constantly but it is not stuff that would be well taken and i don't even want to write it and put it in drafts. I like to write about controversial stuff and have good debates which are tough in blog land.

Lately i am really struggling with a lot of things mentally. I can't even write them out for various reasons. One of them being because i don't want this to become a complaint blog. Work stresses me out, the situation with the pedophile stresses me out (and it is his grandson who has cancer), sometimes my sister stresses me out and this surgery stresses me out.

I started this like a diary and almost wish i could write that way again. I like talking to people though so............

On a positive, only 14 more days until AC/DC. I am sooooooo looking forward to that. I turn 36 on Monday, that is a bit tougher than when i turned 35. Turning 25 was hard, 26 was good and 30 was awesome as well. I had a big party and my husband was actually romantic so it was't hard. This one feels like it is going to be hard though mentally.

I work nights this weekend for the first time in 2 years. Shifts are normally 7-7 on the weekends and i have never done 12's before. Luckily we are training so we only have to go in at 11. There are 3 of training on this shift. It just makes it easier for the trainer. I am the only one fully trained who worked on their own so far. It will be nice to have people to chat with, that is the toughest part of working evenings/nights. So far i only have 3 other night shifts between now and my surgery.

Hockey season started back up on the first but i am no longer working every weekend due to the other job paying much better (like 6$ an hour better) so i want to be available if someone calls in sick. With that being said i only have 1 day off a weekend in september and my first day off isn't until the 13th. I do a full week of M-F day training the week of 14-18 and i have ac/dc on the 17th so will be really tired on the 18th. I kept the 19th off so that i could rest a bit and recharge.

The following week i work 3 days of 13 hour shifts (2 jobs) plus a hockey game. Hopefully i will make enough to cover my basic bills while i am off for my surgery. this way we don't have to dip into the savings too much. It is going well at the new job, i like it, they like me so win/win.