the beginning (past)

I am going back to the old school days! 31 years ago i was born on a bright sunny day in September. My mom was exactly 2 months past her 18th birthday and my dad was 6 days shy of his 19th. They got married 6 weeks before i was born as it was custom those days, you just DID not have babies out of wedlock most of the time, it is the norm now but wasn't then.

That was the beginning of my personal hell, i do not believe people should stay together because of the kids, or for financial reasons or any reason for that matter if you do not get along. You may think it is better for the kids but it is not, the fighting will damage them way more than you think.

My parents loved to drink, they fast became alchoholics, my dad also liked his pot, he was a dealer for a time, even almost getting busted, i had my first sip of beer when i was 5 and i am sure i must have been high by then too. My dad's father was an abusive alchoholic who started my dad drinking when he was not even a teenager.

By the time my mom was 23 she had 3 kids, resented my dad already & hid her addiction, to this day she would never admit she is an alchoholic, she still is now she just is not a drunk anymore, there is a difference.

I start really having memories at about age 5, i remember my house, i remember my school, i remember my teachers, friends etc. I can still recognize alot of kids from that age but most would not have a clue who i was now lol.

I remember 5-9 being pretty carefree, those were the days where you could play with the neighbor children and go in the neighbors houses and be gone except mealtimes & your parents didn't worry. We knew every single neighbor and they watched out for you. I would fight with my brother, he was only 2 years younger than me but not my sister because i thought 5 years was too big of an age difference. We were so mean to the kid, no wonder he is the way he is now, he got it from both me & my sister & we were mean, she even took a broom to his back. At 9 my world as i knew it changed!