flash back (past)

I am not doing these in real time, i will be skipping alot of years, only things that pertain to now will be told.

When i was 9 everything for me changed but i did not know it for a few more years. I was a very good child, i listened to my parents, i was very quiet & shy but yet nosy. I used to love going to play with my cousins, my family is very close (but judgemental, u would never know it though) and i loved to get away from my brother & sister, We had just moved into my grandma's place (she moved outta town) so i had to make new friends.

My cousins only lived a few blocks, so i could walk there, which made it easy for what was about to happen. My aunt (my dad's sister) was going to nursing school & was only home on the weekends. My uncle had the girls, he was an alcoholic like my parents, though i do not know to what extent. He started sexually assaulting me, no intercourse, but i had no clue what was going on. You get that feeling that it is wrong but this was 22 years ago, there was no sex ed in schools until Jr.high, at least here, sex wasn't so big at young ages so parents did not talk about it until you were a teen. This went on until i was 12, my uncle turned himself in, it was part of his AA program to tell a big secret & he told about this and his partner was an ex cop so he had no choice. I never told the story, i never went to court, i went to counselling but never talked. I believe he just got off. I was mad that my aunt stayed with him. I was now the outcast & black sheep, I still feel that way.

We moved to Calgary & once again my life as i knew it changed. I was a "geek" when i moved there, ya know the one that clothes don't match, don't know how to do hair, make up etc. I was very sheltered that way in my home plus with my parents being alcoholics i never got new clothes or anything, ever, except Christmas. Right away i felt out of place in this big city, we lived in a huge complex that my dad was resident manager of so there were tons of other kids. I started changing to fit in. Then i met Meghan & Bev............