So.............I am going to be brutally honest in this post. I don't remember (and not going to search, takes so long) if I mentioned what has been going on in my life the last 4 years that has had me super stressed and driving me brutally crazy. What the real reason is for our move.
I was abused when I was younger. I can freely talk about it, so mentioning it here isn't a big deal. The abuser is my Aunt's husband. She stayed with him. My grandma said they almost broke up, but went to a lot of counselling and didn't. I may have mentioned him because I do remember (or maybe it is in my head) one poster telling me I should have put my mom's feelings above my whole extended family who are close when I invited them as a family unit to my wedding (my reasoning was that my mom didn't live here, and approximately 40 people who DID live here would be upset with me. I didn't want to go against the masses when my mom wouldn't be here for the fall back). Also, it has been 24 years, 20 at that point, so I was meh with him.
Two weeks after my wedding my mom phoned me freaking out. It turns out he fell off the wagon and "touched" two little girls. I don't have details, I don't know the story what so ever because the girls mother is known as a liar so she has a different story than the police report but either way he is a pedophile. He didn't do much, or get far as far as I know but he did go to jail because of the charges against him from when he turned himself in on my case (I didn't give a statement or go to court, I was young) were stayed.
I lost it, I mean totally lost it. My grandma thought I was over reacting. I thought she/they were under reacting. I felt victimized like never before. It could be because I was only 11 when it came out and I didn't talk about it till I was 16. I feel like I have PTSD from it and reacted like it was me who was just abused. I was FURIOUS with my grandma for taking Austin out there after, for bbqs. People didn't want to upset him because he was "fragile" that they went on like normal. I didn't have a single person in my family ask how I was. I felt and still feel completely betrayed. He got so much support, but I got none. I decided right then I was fucking done, like done! When a pedophile is treated better than the victim there is something wrong. No one acted like he did anything wrong back when he abused me too, and he did that for 3 years, everything but rape starting when I was 9!
I gave everything for that family, they meant the world to me. My dad didn't even call me after. His reasoning was he knew how I felt. Well if you knew how I felt, then you would have known that you damn well should have called me. My dad chases my sister so hard because she never wanted a relationship with him, didn't have one for over 18 years and she smokes dope. He totally takes advantage of the fact I am "there". I deleted most off FB, including my father. I stopped going to family events and my husband and I just kind of kept to ourselves.
I was doing OK while he was in jail but the day he got out my head was done for. I then looked for his truck everywhere and was afraid I would run into him. I have a wicked temper and either I would flip on him or just give him death stares making him uncomfortable. I tell anyone and everyone about him and so does an aunt on my mom's side. I don't give two shits on if it hurts his immediate family because frankly, they don't give two shits about me or how I feel. One daughter thinks he is the best thing since sliced break and chalks it up to "he was sick". A pedophile will never ever be cured, this even proves it, but I have done my research. There is no cure, even with help the urge will always be there. Did he do it in between that 20 year stretch and wasn't caught? He is a creep, many people told me crap about him after, plus I knew all the times he cheated on my aunt. She knows about them all too. He is a short, overweight(round beer belly), old bald guy so I am not sure how he does it. My ex was short, overweight and bald (but young) and was cute, so nothing wrong with that combo BUT there isn't a single thing cute about this man. She left him the day he got out of jail. That was a little too late for me. They are all so damn fake and act phoney towards me. I have no desire to have anything to do with them really. She "follows me on fb" so that if I post something public she comments. I act fake too, but just enough to answer a question when asked, its easier than ignoring them.
I just couldn't take it anymore. The thought of running into him and the hurt from the family betrayal was more than I can handle. I am a strong woman who can handle almost anything, but this became too much. They say you need to forgive, and move on, but it's just not going to happen. Please don't even try to tell me that, it pisses me off faster than anything. I am ALLOWED to feel this hate. Does it hurt me more than anyone? Of course it does, which is why I made the change to my situation. I told my husband I had to move. I told him he could come with me, or he could choose to stay behind, but he had nothing to stay behind for other than fear. My husband hates change. He chose to come with me.
We entertained the idea of moving provinces, but he was miserable in BC. It was also winter. He loved the drive up there, it was gorgeous. Idk if he would have been OK if I was there. I feel like he would have been, but I had to take those feelings into consideration. He denied the offer when they called him to go back. He did regret it for a while, because it was good money, really good money and still mentions it every once in a while. He came home with 11k at the end of season and that was a slow season. He paid rent there plus rent here so it's not like he never spent anything. They wanted him to go back, do a split job (one week 1 job, the next week a harder job) with the same pay all around (lower than the harder job normally paid, a lot lower). That offer wasn't good enough, but if we would have known it would have taken so long to find a full time job he would have taken it.
TBC in the next post which will be scheduled for 2 days after this one.
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